I am Relieved

DEAR MR EDWIN UDOH

I AM SO PLEASED TO HEAR FROM YOU. I WAS GETTING WORRIED I THOUGHT YOU MAY HAVE FOUND SOME WAY TO STEAL MY MONEY.
THE NICE LADY AT THE BANK, YOU KNOW THE ONE WITH LOVELY BIG, BIG , BIG EVERYTHING SAID THAT YOU MIGHT BE A 419 SCAMMER OR SOMETHING AND I MIGHT NEVER SEE MY CHEQUE, DESPITE THE FACT YOU HAVE GOT THE MONEY SHE WIRED TO YOU.

HOW WILL I HEAR FROM THE BANK NOW.

THANK YOU FOR BEING SO KIND AND HONEST. I SHALL CALL IN THE BANK WHEN I GO TO TOWN TODAY AND TELL HERE THAT THERE ARE GOOD MEN IN THE WORLD AND SHE IS A NASTY SUSPICIOUS BITCH. I THINK I AM GOING OFF HER NOW. YOU ARE STILL MY FRIEND.

I TOOK HER OUT FOR DINNER NAD SHE DID NOT PAY A THING. DO YOU THINK SHE IS AFTER MY MONEY. DO YOU THINK I SHOULD TAKE HER ON THE CRUISE WHICH WE HAVE PLANNED FOR LATER.
DO YOU GET THAT SORT OF WOMAN IN YOUR COUNTRY, I THINK I MAY BE A FOOL FALLING FOR HER CHARMS AND BIG PARTS.

SO MY FRIEND YES I SHALL GO TO TOWN TODAY, I NEED TO CALL IN SPECSAVERS, MY NEW GALSSES SLIP DOWN MY NOSE ALL THE TIME, I THINK THEY WILL ADJUST THEM.

YOU NEVER DID LET ME KNOW IF 1) YOU WEAR GLASSES
2) YOU HAVE SPECSAVERS THERE 3) YOU NEED NEW ONES

AS I SAID IF YOU DO 1) DONT 2) BUT DO 3) THEN I WILL 4) GET YOU TWO PAIRS FOR THE PRICE OF ONE IF YOU SEND ME YOUR PRESCRIPTION MY DEAR FRIEND.

THEN I SHALL GO TO THE BANK TO SEE IF THEY HAVE HEARD FROM YOUR BANK. DO I NEED A PASS PHRASE ARE WE STILL USING.

Q. WHERE THE ELAWEE
A. ITS A BIRD.

REGARDS

CHUMP A MR